Wikipedia:Peer review/Influenza/archive1

Influenza[edit]

NOTE This article has now been submitted as a FAC. The nomination page is Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Influenza. TimVickers 23:37, 23 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I'm trying to bring this article to FA quality, so comments on content, format, completeness and accuracy are very welcome. Thank you. TimVickers 23:04, 20 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

The flu sounds boring until you realize that bird flu could create a flu pandemic that according to the world's top expert could "kill a large fraction of the human population" [1] WAS 4.250 23:35, 20 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Tim. Rather than list various copy-editing comments here, I've made some changes to the lead, which you can review. I haven't gotten beyond the lead yet, but I would suggest a new third paragraph: its current contents do not summarize the body of the article. I suggest that the third paragraph relate to the "prevention and treatment" section. –Outriggr § 03:28, 21 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

"Hippocrates first described the symptoms of influenza over two thousand years ago." The reference given here is Hippocrates' own account which I seriously doubt can support the assertion that this is the first description of the flu, or even the earliest surving description. You should check your sources, especially the ones you are using as primary sources, and make sure there no other instances of original research.

OK, added secondary source for this.

When talking about the the Spanish flu you do not mention its most notable quality. That was more lethal the adults in their prime while most other outbreaks were more fatal to the elderly and the very young.

Good point. Discussion and data added.

The history section is mess. First you need to touch on human history more than once every 500 years. Then put the information in chronological order. Then perhaps you should mention historical treatments, when the vaccination was invented, how vacinations were first received and when they became a common annual appointment.

History section completely re-written and expanded.

There is nothing on contraversies. I do not know a lot on the topic, but I think there are different opinions on the amount that should be stockpiled by the govt, and who should be getting annual vaccines. Definately there was a problem with plant being unhygenic and a shortage of vaccine when it was shut-down. Quite a lot of contraversy followed that.

Belongs in the flu vaccine page, rather than the general article on the virus and disease.

Flu, Bird Flu, Human Flu, Swine Flu, Horse Flu, Dog Flu, and H5N1 Flu are about the disease in both numans and nonhumans. Influenzavirus A, Influenzavirus B, Influenzavirus C, H5N1 genetic structure,

are about the virus. Still other articles cover vaccination. Still other articles cover the spread and social effects of H5N1. And we have both pandemic and flu pandemic.

Information concerning research about it can be found at:

I think this actually needs significantly more research and information gathering and probably a second peer reveiw before going for FA.--Birgitte§β ʈ Talk 03:49, 21 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Good suggestions, thank you. TimVickers 16:04, 21 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Be aware there are many articles in the flu and H5N1 series of articles and not all facts belong in the article flu. I have provided the navigation boxes for those two suites of articles for your convienience. WAS 4.250 07:03, 21 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Suggestions[edit]

My suggestions:

"The common cold and the "stomach flu" are very different from influenza." (a publication would be useful)

Added, also discussion of influenza vs cold diagnosis in Symptoms section.

History section: the see also part should be fixed, and the history is undone. What about today's pandemics?

No pandemic at the moment, thank god! Current situation is referenced at the end of history section, but not discussed.

Further reading and external links should be divided

Done.

in section Types of influenza virus, there isn't any word about the family Orthomyxoviridae.

Discussion and link added.

You could insert the commons link and pick some images from there: [2].

We've already culled some images from there, link added.

NCurs e _work 09:40, 21 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your work. Please drop me a message when you nominate it in FAC. Rock on! :) NCurs e _work 17:38, 23 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Ruhrfisch 02:23, 22 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
- I read it and found it utterly useless. But I recommend at least one other person mine it for gold; I'm not the most open to critism person around. (Ha!) WAS 4.250 03:18, 22 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
- Only one left to do: While additive terms like “also”, “in addition”, “additionally”, “moreover”, and “furthermore” may sometimes be useful, overusing them when they aren't necessary can instead detract from the brilliancy of the article. This article has 19 additive terms, a bit too much. NCurs e _work 06:56, 22 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Another look[edit]

I took another look and the article is really improving. What I have now are some questions I really don't the answer to, but if the answer is negative this still might be worth mentioning in the article.

"The world's current influenza pandemic threat is H5N1, but this virus has not mutated to spread easily between people." This is a current threat to humans, but is it not an actual pandemic for birds?

Clarified in intro. TimVickers 23:16, 23 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Are there any significant historical pandemics among non-humans?

Data added to 'Infection in Other Animals' section. TimVickers 23:16, 23 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

What are the symptoms and mortality rates for non-human mammals?

I've added symptom info to the 'Infection in Other Animals' section. TimVickers 16:53, 23 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Otherwise I think you need to be more clear right off the bat if a section is about Influenza in General or Influenza in Humans. Also I think you should work to make certain sub-sections (i.e. Microbiology) handle the topic only in more the more general terms. This is coming along really well.--Birgitte§β ʈ Talk 01:01, 23 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

A pandemic (from Greek pan all + demos people) is an epidemic (an outbreak of an infectious disease) that spreads worldwide, or at least across a large region, in humans.

An epizootic is an epidemic in nonhumans.

A panzootic is a disease affecting animals of many species, especially over a wide area.

See the sub-section labeled Infection of other animals in the Flu article. WAS 4.250 02:40, 23 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I saw that section. That is why I was asking for some non-human mammal information which is current given about birds. You can change pandemic in my above questions to panzootic, however I think general usage of these terms is sometime a little fuzzy. Especially with epidemic.--Birgitte§β ʈ Talk 02:56, 23 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]