Talk:Catherine Zeta-Jones/GA1

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Reviewer: Dr. Blofeld (talk · contribs) 17:23, 9 April 2016 (UTC) Will gladly review this either later or tomorrow morning.♦ Dr. Blofeld 17:23, 9 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

lede
  • "Zeta-Jones initially established herself in Hollywood with roles that highlighted her sex appeal in the action film The Mask of Zorro (1998) and the caper thriller Entrapment (1999)". -"such as" the action film
I'm not so sure if that sounds better. I've changed it back to the original sentence for now, please revert if you disagree.--Krimuk|90 (talk) 09:29, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The latter won her an Academy Award and a BAFTA Award, among other accolades." Tweak to "The latter won her Academy and BAFTA Awards for Best Supporting Actress, among other accolades."
  • You say "rest of the decade" but "Parts in smaller-scale features were followed by a decrease in workload, during which she returned to stage and portrayed an ageing actress in A Little Night Music (2009)" -which is 2009. Could tweak to "for much of the decade".
 Done Resolved all your comments here.  — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 08:04, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Early life
  • "sweet-factory" -why the hyphen?
 Done Removed hyphen.  — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 08:04, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Her father is of Welsh origin, and her mother is of Welsh–Irish ancestry.[5]" -I think they're both Welsh nationality, but her mother has some Irish ancestry. the way it's worded makes it look like she is Irish.
Addressed by Krimuk. :-)  — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 10:39, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Zeta-Jones was a hyperactive child, and her mother sent her t" -"and" doesn't work well here,. You could say "Due to her hyperactive nature as a child, her mother sent her".
 Done Rephrased.  — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 08:04, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Zeta-Jones participated in stage shows at her school from a young age, and came to attention locally when she was featured in a local " -rep of local/lly. Do we know the paper?
 Done Rephrased. Krimuk, is the paper's name mentioned.  — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 08:04, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Didn't find any details other than the fact that it was a "local newspaper". --Krimuk|90 (talk) 09:05, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In 1981, she played the lead role of Annie in a Swansea production of the musical, which was staged at the Swansea Grand Theatre.[3][6] Two years later, she played the lead role of Tullulah in a West End production of Bugsy Malone.[10] " -do we have any other background info on how she got to the West End, any quotes of wanting to become an actress etc?
Added.
  • "choosing to instead" -presumably she was already in London a lot so perhaps "deciding to stay permanently in London to pursue a full-time acting career"
 Done Rephrased.  — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 08:04, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Describing her teenage years in London, Zeta-Jones said, "I would queue up for auditions and then change my costume or put on a different leotard and audition again. It might take me two tries, but I always got the job. I figured out what they wanted".[12] She went on to attend the independent Arts Educational Schools in Chiswick, London, for a three-year course in musical theatre.[14] In 1987," -I would move up this into the preceding paragraph and then start a new one with In 1987.
 Done As suggested.  — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 08:04, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In 1987" -a recap of her age here would be good.
 Done As suggested.  — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 08:04, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Do we have any theatrical quotes from critics? A quote about one of the productions even if not directly on Zeta might be useful.
I tried to find something on these lines, but couldn't find anything that was freely accessible online. --Krimuk|90 (talk) 09:18, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Career
  • "Zeta-Jones made her film debut in director Philippe de Broca's French-Italian film 1001 Nights (1990)." -would be best to start it as "In 1990, Zeta-Jones"
 Done As suggested.  — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 08:04, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • " The film received little success but garnered attention for featuring Zeta-Jones in the nude.[1] Greater success f" -rep of success
 Done Rephrased.  — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 08:04, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Writing for Empire magazine, critic Damon Wise labelled the film a "dazzling screwball comedy" and felt that Zeta-Jones showed an "an admirable facility for old-school quickfire patter",[69] and other reviewers picked up the chemistry between Clooney and her for praise.[70]" -too many ands, needs rephrasing and splitting sentence. Other reviewers add new sentence.
 Done Rephrased.  — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 08:04, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Still need to call him Steven Spielberg, even if obvious.
 Done As suggested.  — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 08:04, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and other reviewers picked up the chemistry between Clooney and her for praise" -not sure what you mean by "for praise".
 Done Rephrased.  — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 08:04, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Having established a reputation in playing strong-willed women, Spielberg offered her the part to prove "how sweetly fragile she becomes when her life is in shambles".[23] Critic A. O. Scott, however, thought that Spielberg was "content to use her for her looks rather than for the arch, self-mocking wit that is her secret weapon as a comic actress".[71] C" -the quotes look a little odd here. I've copyedited this for you.
  • Did you link Roger Ebert in first instance?
Yep, it is.
  • "She next reteamed with Soderbergh to film Ocean's Twelve, a sequel to the caper film Ocean's Eleven (2001), which also reunited her with stars Clooney, Pitt, and Roberts. S" -something about filming in Italy would be good here.
Added.
  • " noted on how "... "but", urgh.
 Done Rephrased.  — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 08:04, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Krimuk90: Seriously, this is quite a brilliant article you've produced here in such a short space of time. In fact, I'm not sure I could do much better! This definitely has FA potential and I think with some further research and work and a solid peer review this could become a candidate. Will pass once addressed, but well done!♦ Dr. Blofeld 07:35, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Dr. Blofeld: Thank you for the kind words. And Ssven2 much thanks for taking care of so many of the concerns. All seems to be done now. Cheers! Krimuk|90 (talk) 09:05, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]


GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:
    B. MoS compliance:
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
    C. No original research:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    B. Focused:
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail: Excellent job!♦ Dr. Blofeld 10:18, 11 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

References

  1. ^ "Philippe de Broca". The Daily Telegraph. 29 November 2004. Retrieved 25 April 2013.
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