Wikipedia:WikiProject Video games/Peer review/Kratos (God of War)

Kratos (God of War)

Well, he is the god of war, none shall defy him and he demands that his biography reaches at least Good Article status, but in order to reach said status we feeble mortals must identify and correct any ongoing issues in the article, thanks for your time. - Caribbean~H.Q. 18:06, 28 March 2008 (UTC)

I will nominate the article at WP:GAN in order to get ahead of the backlog, concerns presented here will be attended as usual, cheers. - Caribbean~H.Q. 03:08, 1 April 2008 (UTC)

Comment: Overall it's a pretty good article. It shouldn't have too many problems passing GA. Here are a few suggestions to help it pass.

• The lead-
  • I would start the second paragraph at "The character went through many stages of development..."
  • I would elaborate a bit more on the reception in the lead. Maybe mention his role in the story was praised.
• The "Concept and creation" section
  • An image of some unused concept art would really flesh out the article.
  • This sentence seems a bit weird because of comma placement. Maybe try this "During the creative process, game director David Jaffe, the game's director focused on the 'brutal' factor,; this led to the team focusing on the character's primal aspect."
  • This sentence starts with "after", but doesn't follow up what happened. I guess just remove the word "after". "After these nNumerous designs were drawn, ranging from one resembling a member of a African tribe to several using traditional Greek armors.
• The "Attribute" section-
  • The first sentence's flow is a bit weird. "Throughout the series, Kratos acts as an anti-hero, often making immoral decisions to further his goal, including; sacrificing unprotected humans for example."
  • The next sentence confused me a bit. I would move it to the end of the paragraph to maintain a sense of chronological order and maybe try this: "In God of Warthe first game, Kratos' main motive is revenge, in the first instance he was driven. He is ordered to assassinate Ares and agrees to do so in order to achieve absolution from his past crimes."
  • I would alter this sentence for grammar and to give the reader a sense of perspective. "WhenPrior to the start of the series, he served as the captain of Sparta's army and Kratos was only interested in increasing his power by conquering his opponents."
  • Same thing with this sentence: "ForThroughout most of the gamesseries, Kratos' skin is seen completely..."
• The "Role in the God of War series-
  (Sorry, I only read through the first game's section. I haven't played the others yet :-P )
  • This section had some phrases that should be tweaked to give a better out-of-universe perspective. "One day his army was attacked and dominated byDuring an attack by a barbarian tribe, they werethat outnumbered them. Moments bBefore being killed by the barbarian king, Kratos summoned Ares, the Greek god of war, and offered his soul in exchange for a victory."

• A few grammar edits to the sentence: "After becoming tired of serving the gods in order to erase the memories of his family's murder, he contacted Athena, who offered him..."

• The "Cultural impact" section-
  • I would remove the heading of this section and make the two subsections regular sections. then move "Merchandise" above "Critical reception".
  • Minor grammar edits to remove redundant wording and improve flow.
    • "GameSpot felt that the storytelling's method..."
    • "The character itself was reviewed as a 'sympathetic antihero' and a 'badass', and his demeanor has been described as 'endearing' due to his unforgiving demeanor."
    • "IGN similarly noted that he was 'ruthless', 'merciless" and "savage', noting that the character's main motive is vengeance and that 'he does't care..."
    • "However, the publication felt that in time..."
    • "...point that GamePro directly stated that it was..."
  • I would summarize the following quote. Having lengthy quotes can sometimes detract from an article. "he does't care for the plight of the Olympians. He does't care for the wake of fire and death that spreads from the heels of war. Kratos does't want to save anyone, let alone himself. All he desires is murder. Kratos wants to destroy the god of war for the joy that would come from ripping his heart out."
• You might also want to consider splitting the ref list into two columns.

Hope this helps out. This is a very good character article. Very nice job. (Guyinblack25 ^talk 19:59, 2 April 2008 (UTC))

Thanks for the review, I will attend these points after dinner, cheers. - Caribbean~H.Q. 21:30, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

This certainly was useful, I worked with all the suggestions only excluding the separation of "cultural impact" since I think the merchandise section might be somewhat small due to NECA's tendency of "taking their time" when releasing new figures. - Caribbean~H.Q. 00:14, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

So far, this article has a really clean layout, some nice out-of-universe information, and is very well-referenced. I tip my hat to you... if I had a hat. Now if only the Twisted Metal articles could be this good. Cat's Tuxedo (talk) 23:33, 8 April 2008 (UTC)