Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Bill Madden (soldier)

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article promoted by Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 15:20, 1 January 2024 (UTC) « Return to A-Class review list[reply]

Bill Madden (soldier)[edit]

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Nominator(s): Peacemaker67 (talk)

Bill Madden (soldier) (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

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I've previously developed articles on Victoria Cross and George Cross recipients from South Australia, but am branching out. Madden's George Cross was the highest honor received by an Australian for service during the Korean War, and it was awarded for his determined resistance to his Chinese captors, which ultimately led to his death. His dogged determination was an inspiration to his fellow prisoners of war. This article recently went through GAN, and I reckon it is ready for ACR. Have at it. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 02:39, 12 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Harrias[edit]

  • Per MOS:HYPOCORISM, remove "known as Bill Madden" from the first sentence.
  • "..during the eponymous campaign, during which he.." The close repetition of "during" makes this sentence a little awkward, try to rephrase.
  • "3 RAR's parent brigade.." MOS:NUMNOTES says to avoid beginning a sentence with a figure, although this is a slightly odd case.
  • "..included severe restrictions on the food he received, but he shared this with other sick prisoners." This sounds a little off. Maybe something more explicit? "..included severe restrictions on the food he received, but what he did get he shared with other sick prisoners."
  • "After the war ended, Farrar-Hockley wrote affectionately of Madden to his sister, Florence." It is unclear here whether Florence is Farrar-Hockley or Madden's sister.
  • Consider archiving online sources.

Nothing much wrong with this, nice work! Harrias (he/him) • talk 10:00, 12 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Harrias, all done except most of the archiving. Wayback is having trouble digesting the Parliament House, Trove, AWM and DVA urls, but I did the ADB one. I will try again later to see if it was a site issue. Thanks for taking a look, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 22:17, 12 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support no worries on the archiving, it was just a recommendation. Harrias (he/him) • talk 22:23, 12 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]
HF

I'll look at this later this week. Hog Farm Talk 03:40, 13 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Supporting; I read through the article and have no concerns for A-Class. Hog Farm Talk 05:15, 14 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Comments Support by Pendright[edit]

Back soon! - Pendright (talk) 18:23, 21 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Lead:

  • Madden served in the New Guinea and Bougainville campaigns in the latter stages of World War II, and returned to civilian life in 1947.
and "he" returned to
  • Madden participated with his unit in the constant offensives and counter-offensives of early 1951 before being concussed and captured during the April Battle of Kapyong.
constant offensives and counter-offensives -> against whom?
  • He was beaten and punished, and his physical condition deteriorated. Following a long forced march into North Korea, he died of malnutrition as a result of ill-treatment in November.
  • Since beaten is a form of punishment, should punished be more specfic or generalized?
  • November 1951
All done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 07:50, 31 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Early life

  • Bill, as he was known, was working as a fruiterer's assistant when he was mobilised for service in World War II with the Militia on 26 May 1942 at Morisset near Newcastle, north of Sydney.[1][2]
Consider a comma after Morisset
Done. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 01:34, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Military career

  • He was enlisted as a driver, and allocated a new AIF service number of NX173860.[4]
  • Drop the comma after driver
  • allocated "the" new AIF service number of NX173860.
  • He later served as a driver with the 5th Motor Ambulance Convoy Platoon on Bougainville during the campaign on that island, and then the 253rd Supply Depot Platoon on the island of Morotai in the Dutch East Indies.
  • on this island
went with "there" instead. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 01:54, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • and then "he served with" the 253rd Supply Depot
  • After the war ended his unit was then posted to Japan as part of the British Commonwealth Occupation Force.[1][4]
How about a comma after ended?
  • After leaving the army, Madden worked as a nurse at the psychiatric hospital in Morisset for two years,[2] and then as a moulder.[1]
Dropp the comma after years
  • On the day Madden joined the battalion near Pakchon, 3 RAR had its first engagement with Chinese forces, which had recently entered the war [in support of North Korea].
Suggest the above additio
  • On 25 January 1951, the United Nations forces launched an offensive aimed at reaching the Han River, and [they] were able to advance 60 km (37 mi) in two weeks.
Suggest the above addition
  • In early February, 3 RAR was again in reserve, this time [it was] in positions around Yeoju and [where] in the face of a Chinese counteroffensive, it participated in the relief of UN forces at Chipyong-ni later in February.
Suggest the above changes
  • [Later] I [i]n February, 3 RAR's parent brigade had been reinforced with a Canadian unit, [known as] the 2nd Battalion of Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry (PPCLI).
Suggest the above changes
It actually isn't clear in sources when in February this happened, and I don't think it needs [known as], that was its proper title. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 01:54, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • The Eighth Army line was advanced in stages with consolidation at each stage.
Is it the "U.S." Eighth Army?
The brigade then pushed forward to the "Utah Line" , with 3 RAR capturing two hills with the assistance of US air support.
Suggest U.S. rather than US
Either is fine in an Australian article as long as it is consistent, per MOS:US. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 01:54, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • After consolidation of the position, 3 RAR and its parent brigade were withdrawn into US IX Corps reserve, and handed over the [its]] captured positions to Republic of Korea (ROK) forces.[7]
Suggest the above changes
  • On the night of 22 April, the ROK forces on the "Utah Line" were heavily attacked by large Chinese forces and almost immediately gave ground, and then broke.
Drop the comma after ground
  • On the afternoon of 23 April the 27th Brigade was ordered to establish a blocking position north of the village of Kapyong.
Add a comma after April
  • Initially a precautionary measure, [but] by evening disorganised and panicking groups of ROK soldiers were moving south through the brigade position.
Suggest the aboce addition
  • There were two main battles within the 3 RAR perimeter, one in front of Hill 504, and one around battalion headquarters, and Chinese troops tried to infiltrate the Australian positions by mingling with the fleeing ROK troops.[8]
Suggest the above change
All of these done, with exceptions noted. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 01:54, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Capture and death

  • During the fighting withdrawal, Madden struggled with the effects of [his] concussion, and when urged to move by his platoon sergeant, he told him he was "stuffed" and needed a rest, but would "catch up".
Suggest the above changes
  • Madden highly valued his World War II service medal ribbons, and when the Chinese took them from him, he roundly abused them.
Suggest the above changes
  • In November 1951 he was one of a multinational group of prisoners who were forced marched 300 km (190 mi) north to Changsong on the Yalu River.
Add comma after 1951?
  • After the war ended, Farrar-Hockley wrote affectionately of [him] Madden to Madden's sister, Florence.
Suggest the above change
  • He had been with Madden when he died, and assured her that "he did not die in pain; and was only semi-conscious throughout the last two days of his life, at the end of which, unable to stand a final bout of enteritis, he passed away."[3]
He "was" with Madden... -> Ordinarily, "Was" is used to describe anything from the past that has already ended and there was no duration. "Had been", on the other hand, is used to describe something that has taken place in the past and continued for a definite duration.
  • Madden remained posted as missing in action until 1953, when his family was told of his death.
Drop the comma after 1953

@Peacemaker67: Done - Pendright (talk) 04:53, 23 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

All of these done, thanks so much for your corrections, Pendright!
@Peacemaker67: Supporting - Happy New Year! Pendright (talk) 05:18, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Source review – pass: Zawed[edit]

Disclaimer: I worked on this article back in 2012 to bring it up to B-Class, and made a couple tweaks since then. I think enough water has passed under the bridge since then that I can at least do a source review. I won't do an image review though as I added one of the images currently used.

  • Sources themselves look fine, and I am personally familiar with the work of Ashcroft and Horner
  • Formatting: The Department of Veterans' Affairs sources use a hyphen in the title when I *think* it should be an em dash?
Sure, fixed. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 01:33, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Given history of nominator, I wouldn't normally worry about spot checks but for sake of completeness did some of the online sources: cites 4, 5, 14, 16. All of these generally check out, but in the case of cite 14, that doesn't give his sister's first name.

That's it for me. Zawed (talk) 22:09, 26 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

  • Striking the comment RE sister's name, I had overlooked that it is given earlier in the article. Zawed (talk) 22:12, 26 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for taking a look, Zawed! And for your work in getting it to B-Class. Cheers, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 01:33, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
All good, marking Source review as a pass. Zawed (talk) 04:10, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Image review – pass[edit]

Nice and easy. Consider adding alt text to the images, but I'm happy to mark this as passed. Harrias (he/him) • talk 13:27, 1 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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