Wikipedia:Peer review/Matsudaira clan/archive1

Matsudaira clan[edit]

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for September 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like reactions on its current status and views on how it can be improved.

Thanks, Tadakuni (talk) 04:05, 29 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here.

Biggest problem I see is that the article needs more references, for example none of the three Sengoku period subsections has a ref, nor does the whole Key Genealogies section. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
Key Genealogies does not follow WP:HEAD, should be Key genealogies
There are some short (one or two sentence) paragraphs that break up the flow of the article - could these be combined with others or expanded?
Key Genealogies is very listy - could it be split into a separate list article?
Or provide context for the reader on the Key Genealogies - who are these people? I know they are wikilinked in most cases, but a phrase or sentence on some of the more notable would help. See WP:PCR
Nice images and refs seem OK.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 12:43, 5 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]