Wikipedia:Peer review/Generation Swine/archive1

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Generation Swine[edit]

I've done a complete re-write of this article and hope it qualifies as a featured article. All facts are referenced, and I've worked hard removing POV and incorrect statements from the page. Darwin's Bulldog 03:52, 27 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Some areas that may need addressing:
  • The lead is only two sentences and a little bit more should be included. Probably the results of the album, or the most popular single, just something else.
  • Avoid using "the" in headers per WP:MOS
  • The first sentence is a bit confusing and is a run-on sentence.
  • The paragraph beginning with "Musically, the album shows Mötley Crüe" seems unsourced and possibly WP:OR. It's a bit critical, and critical information should always be backed up by sources.
  • Citation 4 seems to be the citation for the above suggestion, but I'm not exactly sure what citation 4 is supposed to be.
  • In the lawsuit section, the citation should always be after a period or sentence. I would just include both the citations back to back following the first paragraph, and leave the citation 6 in after the last paragraph.
  • The Personnel section is at an awkward place, it should probably be above the track listing and be bulleted.
  • References should go before the Crüe infobox, band infoboxes and categories always go at the bottom of the page.
  • The infobox could use more professional reviews. The more reviews, the easier it is to get a ranking of how it was accepted critically.
  • A well-sourced section including the compilations of critical reception could be beneficial to the article. Reading the article, it seems like the album did not do well, so I think it could be backed up with a section on it.

Those are my suggestions, improving on them should help the article.++aviper2k7++ 00:47, 28 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I've done some tweeking as suggested. Citation 4 is a reference to most of the music being written while Corabi was in the band, as said in the album's liner notes. Darwin's Bulldog 09:55, 28 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

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