Wikipedia:Peer review/2008 Spanish Grand Prix/archive1

2008 Spanish Grand Prix

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for April 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to make sure it's in GA shape. I hope you enjoy reviewing it as much as I enjoy answering. Cookies all round. Apterygial 11:36, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

Peer Review by Darth Newdar (talk)

Won't catch everything, but here's a few things I spotted:

Lead

• Why are you using references at the top of the infobox? Not that it is particulary wrong, just that it's not used on the other articles that the project is doing.
  • LeaveSleaves added that new parameter after a brief discussion at WT:F1 and the infobox talk. I think it's a lot better than having them throughout the infobox, and when I have time I'll go through the other articles I've worked on and put the refs there. Apterygial 00:42, 18 April 2009 (UTC)

• In the lead, the information about the World Championships' situation after the race is ordered with the Constructors' Championship first, and the Drivers' Championship second. On the rest of the articles, it is the other way round.
  • Really just about how it flowed into the paragraph. Don't think this is something we should be putting out consistency foot down on. Apterygial 00:42, 18 April 2009 (UTC)

Practice and Qualifying

• "At one of the test sessions, Hamilton was subjected to racist taunting by some of the spectators." This could do with a ref.
  • I've repeated the ref. Apterygial 00:42, 18 April 2009 (UTC)

• "The Ferraris were fastest in the first session; Räikkönen was quickest with a time of 1:20.649, ahead of Massa, who recovered from a spin and a track excursion on his first two laps to take second." The bit I've put in bold I don't get; do you mean an off-track excursion?
  • I most certainly do. Apterygial 00:42, 18 April 2009 (UTC)

• "Räikkönen clinched the first pole position of his career with a time of 1:21.813." Was it really? Surely he had a pole before that in his career? Anyway, the current ref doesn't state this, so a ref saying would be good.
  • Aaargh. That's the result of me copying the structure from other articles (Kubica in Bahrain, I think). I've changed the wording to something more appropriate. Apterygial 00:42, 18 April 2009 (UTC)

Race

• "The race restarted on lap four when the safety car peeled off, Räikkönen quickly increased his lead over Massa to more than a second." This doesn't make much sense as a sentence.
  • Really? What part doesn't make sense? Apterygial 00:42, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
    • Something like, "The race restarted on lap four, when the safety car peeled off. Räikkönen quickly increased his lead over Massa to more than a second.", makes more sense (to me, anyway!).

Post-race

• 'Although Ferrari had performed well, their speed was not significantly better than their opponents, so "we need to keep working like crazy in the factory to improve the car in every area."' In this sentence it's not obvious who said the quote.
  • Changed to "Although Ferrari had performed well, Massa said their speed was not significantly better than their opponents, so "we need to keep working like crazy in the factory to improve the car in every area."" Apterygial 00:42, 18 April 2009 (UTC)

Hope this helps. Darth Newdar (talk) 12:58, 17 April 2009 (UTC)