Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Vacation/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by GrahamColm 18:41, 14 July 2012 [1].

Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Vacation[edit]

Featured article candidates/Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Vacation/archive1

Nominator(s): Gak Blimby (talk) 21:17, 4 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured article because it meets the FA criteria. It is succinct and verified. I would like to have it at FA status before the film is out on DVD. Gak Blimby (talk) 21:17, 4 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Source review - spotchecks not done. Nikkimaria (talk) 23:52, 9 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

FN1: page(s)?
Be consistent in when you provide publisher locations
FN11: page(s)?

Done Gak Blimby (talk) 04:10, 11 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Suggest including states for non-major cities
What makes this a high-quality reliable source? This?
FN15: page(s)?

Done Gak Blimby (talk) 04:10, 11 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Don't mix {{citation}} and {{cite}} templates

Done Gak Blimby (talk) 04:10, 11 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Ranges should use endashes. Nikkimaria (talk) 23:52, 9 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I know how hard it can be to get willing reviewers on pop culture articles. I'll take a look through.

"The film was one of the highest selling videos in the United States," That month? That year? Ever? This is sort of meaningless without context.
"Fifi Le Fume is obsessed with film actor Johnny Pew and manages to track him down at the hotel at which he is staying. Fifi meets Johnny and he offers for her to spend time with him by carrying his luggage." An obvious example of the choppier prose.

Reworded. Gak Blimby (talk) 22:58, 6 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The tone in the plot section feels a little chatty
"Fowlmouth continuously talking through the film and is thrown out of the theater."

Reworded. Gak Blimby (talk) 22:58, 6 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The film... The film... The film...
"Videos for Kids noted that the film makes fun of" Avoid this kind of personification
I'm not really sure parody is a theme, any more than jokes or action are "themes".
"Hamton family are cheap" Cheap?

Done. Gak Blimby (talk) 22:58, 6 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

What is the purpose of footnote B?
"highlighted the parodies of the film" In the film, surely?

Surely, indeed! Oh, prepositions! Done. Gak Blimby (talk) 22:58, 6 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Footnote c is not really needed.

It's a disgrace, really. Done. Gak Blimby (talk) 22:58, 6 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"TV Guide called" Again, avoid this sort of personification
"film was "superior to most TV fare", he called the film a" Semi-colon?
"Reviews ranged from positive to mixed." I'd say that some of them were worse than mixed...
"The VHS release of How I Spent My Vacation was one of the highest selling videos in the United states" See above; I'm not sure what this means.
Source 28 lacks a retrieval date. Source 21 looks incomplete.

Overall, while this makes an excellent good article, I do not feel that it is quite FA-ready yet. The prose feels very jumpy and choppy in places- the very last paragraph is a good example of this. Also, with this coming out on DVD soon, more material may become available- a review or two, perhaps some extra features on the DVD. I'd recommend waiting until then, updating the article as appropriate, and then finding someone willing to lend their eyes to the prose before renominating. Sorry. J Milburn (talk) 22:50, 13 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I understand, and your points are well-made. I'll make whatever fixes I can in the mean time. Gak Blimby (talk) 00:56, 14 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.