Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic/archive6

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by Buidhe via FACBot (talk) 5 December 2021 [1].

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic[edit]

Nominator(s): Pamzeis (talk) 04:46, 2 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The sixth FAC nomination of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, hopefully it'll be the charm. I nominated this article previously almost two months ago but it failed due to lack of engagement. It's gone through another peer review with helpful comments from Z1720, Laser brain, Wizzito, Kavyansh.Singh and Pseud 14. Now, it's hopefully ready. Let's just believe that: Friendship is magic. Pamzeis (talk) 04:46, 2 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose The prose remains well short of FA standard I'm afraid, as it is often needlessly unclear or overly complex. Some illustrative examples from random spot checks are:

  • "Hasbro, Inc. has produced several incarnations of the My Little Pony franchise, often labeled by collectors as "generations"" - collectors of what?
  • " With many brands, including My Little Pony, the company uses a multi-generational plan as a template" - a template for what?
  • "According to Margaret Loesch, CEO of The Hub, revisiting properties that had worked in the past was an important decision in televised media, which was somewhat influenced by the opinions of the network's programming executives, several of whom were once fans of such shows" - over complicated and hard to understand
  • "Animator and writer Lauren Faust approached Hasbro to develop her girls' toys property "Galaxy Girls" into an animated series" - when?
  • "had been unsuccessfully pitching animation aimed at girls for years, as studios and networks considered cartoons for girls unsuccessful" - repetitive
  • "Faust was initially hired by Hasbro to create a pitch bible for the show, which allowed her to get additional help with conceptualization" - this is unclear
  • " When designing the settings, she sent photo references to artist Dave Dunnet" - as nobody has been mentioned by name in this para prior to the 'she', who is is referring to is unclear.
  • "Hasbro Studios and a season's story editor employed writers" - unclear (what's 'a season's story editor'?), and this seems a statement of the obvious given that writers were clearly needed.

As I think that the prose would need a lot of work and this article has failed five previous FACs, I don't see much likelihood of this sixth nomination passing. Sorry. Nick-D (talk) 06:30, 4 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@FAC coordinators: I would like to withdraw this nomination per the issues pointed out by Nick-D. Apologies for any inconvenience. Pamzeis (talk) 11:40, 5 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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