Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Grindcore/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by SandyGeorgia 11:59, 30 March 2011 [1].

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Grindcore

Grindcore (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

• Featured article candidates/Grindcore/archive1

Nominator(s): Aryder779 (talk) 13:46, 25 March 2011 (UTC)

I am nominating this for featured article because it is thorough, well-researched, well-written, and notable. Aryder779 (talk) 13:46, 25 March 2011 (UTC)

Oppose at this time. I appreciate your efforts but I don't feel it is yet at FA standards. Here is a sampling of concerns:

• Multiple broken external links, see here
• Multiple problems with prose, including use of contractions, grammatical errors, awkward and unclear phrasings, overuse of direct quotations
• Some problems with lack of accessibility to non-specialist readers, although this may be associated with unclear phrasing. For example, from the lead, what on earth is a "frog gurgle"? "Many bands record simple phrases that may be rhythmically sprawled out across an instrumental lasting only a couple of bars in length." - how can something sprawl over only a couple of bars?
• Lack of citations. Examples of things that should be cited: "Vocals may be used as merely an added sound effect, a common practice with bands such as the experimental Naked City."; "Beyond the microsong, it is characteristic of grindcore to have short songs in general" - check for others
• Inconsistent referencing format, missing information from citations and other reference problems
• Use of questionable sources, for example this blog

I suggest withdrawal of this nomination to give you more time to address these issues. Nikkimaria (talk) 16:57, 25 March 2011 (UTC)

Oppose - concur with Nikkimaria's points above, and add the following:

• Numbers of plain numbered external links in the notes - per the MOS those should have titles instead of just plain numbers.
• Needs citations, besides the one Nikkimaria listed, the following are further examples (note I didn't do a complete audit)
  • "...have been associated with grindcore by some commentators."
  • "In addition, grindcore was one influence on the powerviolence movement within American hardcore punk, and has affected some strains of metalcore. Some musicians have also produced hybrids between grind and electronic music."
  • "...was also cited as an influence on early Napalm Death."
• Overlinking -
  • No need to link (just examples) "vegetarians" "satirical" "anti-racism" "feminism" "anti-militarism" "anti-capitalism" "drums" "electric guitar"
  • Overlinking of terms - a number of bands and styles are linked multiple times in the article, which is unneeded. There are SOOO many links that they are distracting to the reader.
• Prose concerns - Many of the sentences feature terms that, while linked, are not explained in the text, forcing the reader to click to another article to discover what is going on. Also, repetition. Example: "Among other influences, Napalm Death took impetus from the industrial music scene.[26] Subsequently, Napalm Death's former guitarist, Justin Broadrick, went on to a career in industrial metal with Godflesh.[24] Mick Harris, in his post-Napalm Death project, Scorn, briefly experimented with the style." Napalm Death is used three times in three sentences - surely that's a bit much?
• Unexplained abbreviations: DIY, RIAA, again, just a sample
• Sources that may not meet WP:RS - this one, this one, this one, and that was just a quick sample.
• This report would need to be checked to make sure that the listed sites are copying Wikipedia and not the other way around.

Strongly suggest enlisting two or more non-music editors to help copyedit for comprehensiveness, etc. Peer Review might be good also. Ealdgyth - Talk 15:14, 27 March 2011 (UTC)

• Comment I repaired all of the bad links except for two. One goes to a site that has a paywall; not sure if that needs to be changed or not, since the text is available for viewing on a myspace page. The second goes to ReGen Magazine, which appears to have wiped out most of its content very recently. —Torchiest ^talk_edits 19:54, 27 March 2011 (UTC)

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.