Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Butterfly (Mariah Carey album)/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by SandyGeorgia 14:59, 14 September 2010 [1].

Butterfly (Mariah Carey album)[edit]

Butterfly (Mariah Carey album) (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

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Nominator(s): PeterGriffin • Talk2Me 21:54, 13 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured article because I believe it to fully cover the article and it's surrounding info. Thank you everyone for taking part in this nomination! Feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks everyone! :)PeterGriffin • Talk2Me 21:54, 13 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

  • Comment—There is a link to the disambiguation page David Cole in the article; no dead external links. Ucucha 22:27, 13 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Please review for WP:LQ compliance (e.g., put the commas outside the quote marks for song names). Ucucha 22:29, 13 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Hello. I fixed all of the "Butterfly," to "Butterfly", etc and all other songs. Check it out now, thanks :D.--PeterGriffin • Talk2Me 22:36, 13 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose on prose. A host of small problems: inconsistent in capitalization of "hip-hop", bad grammar ("as well as hailing as one of the defining albums of the 1990s and Hip-Hop and R&B music", "an life-altering"), and clumsy sentences (repetition of "Carey" in "In the booklet from Carey's twelfth studio album ..., Carey stated"). Further down, there are even basic spelling errors ("how the single would fair, considering it's mix"). This suggests the article needs a thorough copyedit throughout, and is not yet ready for FAC. Ucucha 22:38, 13 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I looked through the article and fixed allot of those related issues. Please check back when you get the chance. Thanks--PeterGriffin • Talk2Me 22:50, 13 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
The "an" problem is still there, as are the two spelling errors. You also changed "Hip-Hop" in a quotation, which generally shouldn't be done. I really think you need an independent copyeditor to look over it; I may have a try myself, but not today. Ucucha 22:55, 13 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
That would be great if possible, I appreciate the offer. I fixed those issues as well, so thank you.--PeterGriffin • Talk2Me 23:05, 13 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose, an article should go to GA and Peer Review before being nominated for FA. Baratayuda (talk) 01:43, 14 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
How did I guess you were going to be unreasonable. That's not a reason to oppose. You have to come up with specific issues with the article. Peer review and GA are not requirements, they are suggestions, so stop trying to sabotage everything I nominate.--PeterGriffin • Talk2Me 01:50, 14 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
An article does not need to go to GA and PR before becoming an FA. In this case, however, it may have been a good idea. Ucucha 02:06, 14 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
That's not a reason to oppose a nomination Ucucha, he's only doing it to disrupt the nomination, look at his edit history.--PeterGriffin • Talk2Me 03:40, 14 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Strong oppose. The writing is bad in almost every paragraph.
  • There's still punctuation inside songs, even after having this pointed out.
  • Background should have some dates so we know when all this is taking place.
  • "Butterfly was one of Carey's best-received albums, hailing as one of the most impressive releases of the year" - ungrammatical.
  • the album was set to be a hit. nonneutral
  • couple's, "irreconcilable separation." why comma.
  • successfully visited Europe and Asia. was she banned and managed to sneak in?
  • Additionally, Erlewine went on to proclaim Butterfly as one of Carey's best records and finished writing, "Carey is continuing to improve and refine her music, which makes her a rarity among her '90s peers." finished writing doesn't make sense.
  • near-perfect score of 4.5 stars. out of 5? and no need for near-perfect, evident.
  • Carey visited The Oprah Winfrey Show where she covered a highly publicized interview, regarding her split from Tommy Mottola. Bad sentence.
  • "Butterfly", which Carey reportedly wrote to Tommy Mottola, was held endeared as her "most heartfelt ballad," a song she felt transformed her career and vocal mystique. very bad sentence.
  • Butterfly's extended popularity, and it's world tour becoming an instant sell-out in Japan, paved the way for Carey's following compilation album, Number 1's, which became the best-selling album in Japan by a non-Asian artist. bad sentence (neverminding the it's).
  • While Carey denied the allegations, many found the proof to be overwhelming. the "proof"?
  • While the video's speculation grew, Carey continued to deny any intention of portraying her marriage in the video. doesn't make sense.
  • as well as The Rosie O'Donnell Show, where she visited twice.
  • Carey re-recorded a Spanish version of "My All", titled "Mi Todo", while also becoming one of her most remixed songs. ungrammatical. implies Carey became one of her most remixed songs.
  • The paragraping seems rather arbitrary. See the first two in writing and composition and the ones in Awards
  • "more mature and subtle than anything Carey had ever recorded." Sourced to [2] which doesn't have that quote. Incidentally that was the first I checked so not too confident that the others support well. Not sure also that you should be using this to summarise critical responses in general (which you later decide to attribute to that specific reviewer).
  • Additionally, Browne commended Carey's "slushy vocals,". What it actually says: "Tracks burble along, verses indistinguishable from choruses, like one big watercolor painting. Others are simply derivative: Prince's The Beautiful Ones is reduced to a slushy vocal showcase for Carey ...".
  • "as well as her restrained and mature "vocal prowess."". Vocal prowess doesn't appear in the source.
  • 13 Juzwiak, Rich. does not check out either.
  • Neither does [3] with "peaking within the top-five in most European countries." only lists a few countries
  • Perhaps tell us what the bomb means in the Review box? Actually appears lower, but not connected.
  • Lots of unsourced.

These are only a fraction of the number of errors; almost every paragraph has some issue or other. Reads like you copied the Shapiro and Nickson books without checking for tense and grammer. Also, any piece using "it's" wrong should be failed automatically. This happens a few times. Also not very unbiased; nothing but overly enthusiastic praise and positive assertions about the album. By far the worse problem however is the shoddy sourcing -- many of those I checked had problems of not quite matching the text. Suggest withdraw nomination. 86.153.124.194 (talk) 03:53, 14 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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