User talk:JasperGoingDown

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Hello and welcome to Wikipedia. We appreciate encyclopedic contributions, but some of your recent contributions seem to be advertising or for promotional purposes. Wikipedia does not allow advertising. For more information on this, see:

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I hope you enjoy editing Wikipedia! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~); this will automatically produce your name and the date. Feel free to write a note on the bottom of my talk page if you want to get in touch with me. Again, welcome! Ckatz^chat_spy 03:42, 11 May 2010 (UTC)

Hello, and thank you for your note. One important point to consider is that we are not here to present "The Formula", or any other specific version of the same. if you wish to expand the material, that is great. However, it should be based on academic rather than commercial perspectives, to allow a more encyclopedic presentation of the concepts. --Ckatz^chat_spy 16:58, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

What I would suggest is rewriting the material in a more encyclopedic tone. Avoid listing it as "The Formula"; instead, break down the typical structure. Use more prose to outline it, working it into the existing text. For example, you might rewrite:

"The first two sequences combine to form the film's first act."

as

"The first two sequences combine to form the film's first act. Typically, sequence one will introduce the main character or characters, and set the "status quo" for their world. The major plot point in this sequence will incorporate the incident that incites the main tension. Sequence two builds upon this, setting out the details of the characters' predicament and establishing this tension, with a main plot point that is the "lock in"."

You'll know the terminology better, of course; we would need a plain-English interpretation of what a "lock in" represents. As you can see, the aim is to reproduce the information as prose rather than as a list parroted from the source site. Hope this helps. --Ckatz^chat_spy 00:18, 14 May 2010 (UTC)