Talk:Typhoon Clara (1981)
Typhoon Clara (1981) has been listed as one of the Natural sciences good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: June 28, 2017. (Reviewed version). |
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- This review is transcluded from Talk:Typhoon Clara (1981)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: 12george1 (talk · contribs) 17:20, 28 June 2017 (UTC)
Hi YE. I will be reviewing this article this afternoon. It's a fairly decent article, but there's quite a few things (mostly minor) that I need you to fix or address before I decide whether or not to pass it.--12george1 (talk) 17:20, 28 June 2017 (UTC)
- Again, I think you could go for a more interesting opening sentence. Don't typhoon strike the Philippines in September almost every year? Why not say that Clara left flooding in southeastern China and the northern Philippines in September 1981, or something like that?
- "which lead to nearly 4,000 people homeless in one province alone." ---> "which left nearly 4,000 people homeless in one province alone."
- "Damage was estimated at $13.4 million (1981 USD)," - Is this a typo (the infobox says $13.5 million) or was there $100,000 in damage somewhere else? Btw, there's an extra space between 13.4 and million
- I think maybe you could add more impact to the lead. Like mention how thousands of other people were also left homeless in China
- What was Clara's intensity at landfall in Luzon? Peak intensity?
- "Near where the storm made landfall, winds of 97 km/h (60 mph) and a pressure of 977.1 mbar (28.85 inHg) was reported." - Since this is the first sentence of the section and because Clara made two landfalls, you should specify that this is talking about Luzon. So maybe go with "Near where the storm made landfall in northern Luzon". Also, the ending should be "were reported."
- "In the city of Baguio, several small landslides occurred, and 36 families sought shelter in higher ground due to floodwaters 2.4 m (8 ft) high.[9] Many towns in the surrounding area were isolated." - It would probably be better if the second part of the first sentence goes with the second sentence. "In the city of Baguio, several small landslides occurred. A total 36 families sought shelter in higher ground due to floodwaters 2.4 m (8 ft) high,[9] with many towns in the surrounding area becoming isolated."
- "Throughout the Cagayan province, 3,725 people were homeless and" - 3,725 people were left/rendered homeless
- "Twelve victims sustained injured." ---> "Twelve victims sustained injuries."
- "The next day day, the signal" - The next two days? :P
- "Local ferry service and air traffic was disrupted by the typhoon and a few signs were blown down, " ---> "Local ferry service and air traffic were disrupted by the typhoon and a few signs were knocked down, "
That should be it.--12george1 (talk) 17:20, 28 June 2017 (UTC)
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