Talk:New Age/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: /ƒETCHCOMMS/ 22:54, 30 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Review to come shortly. /ƒETCHCOMMS/ 23:00, 30 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Sourcing
  • "The term New Age was used as early as 1809 by William Blake who described a belief in a spiritual and artistic "New Age" in his preface to Milton: a Poem." has no ref.
  • "Another early usage of the term, was by the American artist, mystic, and philosopher Walter Russell, who spoke of "... this New Age philosophy of the spiritual re-awakening of man ..." in his essay "Power Through Knowledge", which was also published in 1944." mentions source in text but a ref with specifics on source would help.
Added a reference; it needs formatted. A second source with essay year or exact date is needed. All is One (talk) 15:59, 15 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The subculture that later became known as New Age already existed in the early 1970s, based on and adopting ideas originally present in the counterculture of the 1960s. The Findhorn Foundation – an intentional community near Findhorn, Moray, Scotland founded in 1962 – played an instrumental role during the early growth period of the New Age movement;[citation needed] it continues to operate the Findhorn Ecovillage." has {{cn}} and needs source for whole paragraph.
  • "Several key moments occurred in raising public awareness of this subculture: the publication of Linda Goodman's best selling astrology books Sun Signs (1968) and Love Signs (1978); Hair: The American Tribal Love-Rock Musical (1967) with its opening song "Aquarius" and its memorable line "This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius" [emphasis added]; the broadcast of Shirley MacLaine's television mini-series Out on a Limb (1987); and the Harmonic Convergence (1987) organized by José Argüelles in Sedona, Arizona. Also influential[citation needed] were the claims of channelers Jane Roberts (the Seth Material) and J. Z. Knight (Ramtha), as well as revealed writings A Course in Miracles (1976) by Helen Schucman, The Celestine Prophecy (1993) by James Redfield, and Conversations with God (1995) by Neale Donald Walsch. Relevant works also include the writings of Eckhart Tolle, Barbara Marx Hubbard, Marianne Williamson, Deepak Chopra, John Holland, Gary Zukav, and Wayne Dyer; also, The Secret (2006) by Rhonda Byrne, which was based on the writings of Esther Hicks and Jerry Hicks." has another cn tag and is completely unsourced. What page in these books? etc.
  • "Some New Age music albums come with notes to encourage use in meditation. This style began in the 1970s with the works of free-form jazz groups recording on the ECM label; such as Oregon, the Paul Winter Group, and other pre-ambient bands; as well as ambient music performer Brian Eno and classical avant-garde musician Daniel Kobialka. In the early 1970s, it was mostly instrumental with both acoustic and electronic styles. New Age music evolved to include a wide range of styles from electronic space music using synthesizers and acoustic instrumentals using Native American flutes and drums, singing bowls, and world music sounds to spiritual chanting from other cultures." unsourced.
  • "Mainstream, organized religious institutions have been largely critical of the New Age movement. In 1982, author Johnanna Michaelsen published The Beautiful Side of Evil, a personal account of her experiences with various New Age activities. Concluding that all these activities were demonic, Michaelsen became a fundamentalist Christian and appeared on shows like The 700 Club and Praise the Lord to discuss her belief that Satan was behind the New Age and neopagan religions." unsourced.
Added fact tag. All is One (talk) 16:48, 23 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Whole "Marxist" section is unsourced. Tagged.
  • Refs. (Please note: the numbers are different since recent additions; use version as of October 1, 2010): why is [dead link] in parantheses for refs 65 and 66? Why do the websites (e.g. 34, 35) not have publishers or other such info? Response: They may not be reliable sources. All is One (talk) 19:26, 13 November 2010 (UTC) Ref 82 needs the link titled, not [1]. Ref 28: what is page "1ff"?—ff., folio, Latin for "and pages following." Why do some refs (e.g. first 10) have periods at the end, but not the rest? Ref 78 has no accessdate or other info. Ref 75 needs to have a consistent style with the others (link the title, not the publisher, date, etc.) Refs 55, 56 need space before "OCLC"; ref 66 says both "Volume 31" and has the bolded "31"; use "31 (1)". Refs 84, 85 say "Entire text online, page found 2010-06-28"; use "Retrieved" to be consistent and perhaps give a full link to the online text, or just remove that note. For page numbers, is it necessary to say "p. 08", or just use "p. 8"?[reply]

/ƒETCHCOMMS/ 02:25, 1 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

More on sourcing
  • For the bibliography and further reading, either use the citation templates for all or don't use them at all, for style consistency. Also, accessdates aren't needed for books, because they don't change (they only publish new editions).
  • Run a quick scan with Checklinks, tag deadlinks and find archived copies of them, if available (don't remove deadlinks).
/ƒETCHCOMMS/ 21:29, 16 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I am not sure how to edit with Checklinks; if someone knows, please run it through the article. All is One (talk) 23:56, 19 October 2010 (UTC) [reply]
I ran it through the article and saved the edit. Please note: The unaltered official Checklinks edit summary says 3 dead links, but only 2 were edited; maybe a glitch. It made some "retrieved"s capitalized, but the Citation templates still render them lower cased. There is no way to edit Template:Citation because it is locked, although it may mess up other articles if edited. I think it's just one of those Wikipedia incongruencies. All is One (talk) 15:29, 23 October 2010 (UTC) [reply]
Fixed this by using all lower cased "retrieved" per Citation talk. All is One (talk) 22:09, 28 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Prose
  • eighteenth and nineteenth centuries" should be "18th and 19th centuries"
  • "c.1872" should be "c. 1872"
  • be sure to use a non-breaking space ( ) with ellipses at places like "... (use a nbsp after the ellipses and before the text begins) as well as ..." (before the ellipses and after the text)
  • "early to mid-1900s" should be "early- to mid-1900s"
  • "While claims of racial bias in the writings of Rudolf Steiner and Alice Bailey were made,[18] Alice A. Bailey was firmly opposed to the Axis powers (according to Bailey, Adolf Hitler was possessed by the Dark Forces [19]) ," Alice Bailey's full name is used twice in a row; use "Alice A. Bailey" the first time and "Bailey" the second; put the [19] after the parentheses and after that comma, and remove the space between comma and parentheses
  • ""Power Through Knowledge"," either put punctuation inside the quotes or outside; the rest of the article seems to favor inside quote marks, so make it consistent here and possibly elsewhere
  • "In a letter to his friend Peter Baynes dated 12 August 1940" it might flow better to write "In a letter dated 12 August 1940 to his friend Peter Baynes" or "In a letter to his friend Peter Baynes, dated 12 August 1940"
  • "have emphasised the above-mentioned personal aspects" the self-reference (abovementioned) seems a little awkward here; exactly which personal aspects were those?
  • Be wary of sentence fragments in the tables
  • "There is an emphasis on living in a simple sustainable way that attempts to reduce an individual's or society's use of the Earth's natural resources and shuns the consumer society" that makes up the whole "Sustainable living" section, which feels stubby and the sentence feels like an incomplete thought. How does this emphasis mean to New Agers? What part does it play in New Age? etc.
  • "Michaelsen became a fundamentalist Christian and appeared on shows like The 700 Club and Praise the Lord to discuss her belief that Satan was behind the New Age and neopagan religions." might be better phrased as "Michaelsen became a fundamentalist Christian, appearing shows like The 700 Club and Praise the Lord to discuss her belief that Satan was behind the New Age movement and neopagan religions."
  • "as a form of what Engels called" use Engels' full name
  • "and that it is just supersition that goes against provable fact" there are two "that"s in a row, and superstition is misspelled
  • "1970's" -> 1970s
  • Actually, the whole Marxist section (which may be better titled "Marxism" or "Marxists") seems like a high-school quality essay and needs a good copyedit, and sources, so please work on that
Having difficulty finding reliable sources concerning verifiability to support all of this; please advise. All is One (talk) 19:01, 13 October 2010 (UTC) [reply]
Seems like OR to me. If you can source one or two sentences, maybe put them elsewhere; otherwise, delete the Marxism stuff (because I think someone really did just paste their essay in there). /ƒETCHCOMMS/ 01:34, 15 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I agree; this was a recent addition. There does seem to be at least a remote correlation, but only opposing general beliefs. However, I found more information on New Agers refuting Marxism. Maybe placing something in the wikitable above to that extent with a note about Marxism's views being against New Age spirituality. All is One (talk) 15:26, 15 October 2010 (UTC) [reply]
Removed.
  • "Some adherents of traditional disciplines such as the Lakota people" should have a comma before "such"

/ƒETCHCOMMS/ 03:19, 9 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

More on prose
Check for dab links with this tool
/ƒETCHCOMMS/ 21:29, 16 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Completed; only one redirect to a disambiguation page (Analytical), which is a basic word and is now unlinked. All is One (talk) 18:21, 18 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Other
  • Passes criterion 3, 4, and 5 to me
  • Images: Make sure they all use alt text; if not, please add it
  • All images seem to have appropriate license tags, etc. No issues here

/ƒETCHCOMMS/ 21:29, 16 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be able to pass this as soon as all the issues above have been addressed. Good job! /ƒETCHCOMMS/ 18:50, 23 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Awesome! Thanks. I will continue working with this article. Thank you for all of your help and direction. Please edit anywhere you can find improvements, if you like. It is really nice to have another editor here for this additional review. All is One (talk) 18:56, 23 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • OK, so I think you're getting close to done, and this GAN has been open for a few weeks, so I'm going to AGF that you'll fix the minor details, but before passing, I need two things: the {{citation needed}} tags addressed, and the {{expand}} tag addressed. If you can get those done in a week, that's all I really need for the GAN (although keep working on this great article afterward). Thanks! /ƒETCHCOMMS/ 05:02, 7 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
 Done All is One (talk) 15:13, 13 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Passing this now! Great job, /ƒETCHCOMMS/ 03:00, 14 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
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