Talk:LGBT themes in anime and manga/Archive 1

Archive 1

Suggestions

YuanYuan Chen，Circle’s Peer review. Imerman’s Angels

A lead section that is easy to understand： Overall, this is a good Wikipedia article, it is written in plain language and easy to follow.

A clear structure: I like how your group made the structure. I especially like the “history” section, and how you guys introduce Imerman’s Angels’ milestone events steps by steps. However, the “mission” section overlap something from the general introduction part and “organizational structure” part, I think you guys could revised them a little bit.

Balanced coverage I think the article could become longer and with more detail to describe about the organization in general. According to the reading, I believe “Imerman’s Angels” is a large or middle large size international non-for-profit organization. Around year 2015 to present time, there has a total of 6,000 mentors in 65 countries, and I want to know more about it. As a result, I think the article needs more work.

Neutral content Yes, no mention of personal opinions and apparent biases. No claims made in the article. However, it might contain too much positive information in the text. For example,

“Imerman now spends his time meeting with patients, angels and donors. He holds and speaks at many events and fundraisers while also living a vegan and alcohol free lifestyle.” 

The sentence up there is from “Organization Structure”, the introduction of Jonny Imerman, and this sentence can be removed since it is not relate the topic.

Reliable sources Some of the sources are PDF document and official reports that released by the organization. Some of the sources are from news website and official website. I think most of the sources are reliable. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Circlechen002 (talk • contribs) 03:00, 7 November 2017 (UTC)

Mazie A. Peer Review LGBT in Anime

Hi Jane! Your topic is so interesting and I really enjoyed reading your article :) Below are some things I thought of while reading: 1. Maybe expand your lead a little bit, be sure to include the summary of all of your sections that you discuss in the article. 2. In the "History" section, maybe include some definitions for words that may not commonly be known, like "mangaka" and "shoujo." 3. In the "LGBT in Japan" section maybe include how what you discuss impacts LGBT representation/content in anime (if you have the sources to support this discussion). 4. Maybe combine your "Motivations for consuming yaoi/yuri" and your "Fandom culture and demographics" sections under one header. It might flow a little better. Mazie95 (talk) 15:00, 2 December 2019 (UTC)