Talk:Gennady Yanayev/GA1

GA Review[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: –MuZemike 03:17, 15 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Verifiability issue

Done From 1963 to 1968,... which he held for 12 years. (source: [1]) - not in the citation given. However, it looks like it's in an article in The Guardian ([2]).

Prose/MoS issues

Done After Gorbachev announced his proposal for a New Union Treaty to form the Union of Sovereign States, as a reorganization of the Soviet Union into a new confederation whose constituent republics had more autonomy, he immediately went on vacation to his dacha in the Crimea. - I'm kind of confused here. It reads like Yanayev went on vacation as a result of Gorbachev's proposal or his reorganization of the Soviet Union? It seems that "as a reorganization ... had more autonomy" feels out of place and should be tweaked a little so the context makes more sense.
Done "TASS" - please spell that out as people are not going to readily know that stands for "Telegraph Agency of the Soviet Union".
Done "However, his weak posture, trembling hands and shaky expressions made his words unconvincing." - Is this Yanayev or Gorbachev? Please clarify.
Done This can be confirmed by the fact ... later jailed for his crimes against the Soviet state." - it sounds like you, the editor, are coming to that conclusion. Re-write that sentence so that it sounds more 3rd-person and not looking like you're trying to draw conclusions from the source given.

Coverage issues

Done It looks like you could expand just a bit more stuff from that very last reference about Roger Mudd's report on The NewsHour with regards to Yanayev's actions during the 1991 putsch (obviously trying to keep it within context of Yanayev himself and not necessarily the putsch).
This article from USA Today ([3]) can also expand on his takeover as President of the USSR, especially on his shaking hands as well as his drunkenness/alcoholism (the report said that be was apparently drunk when he made the announcement of the takeover). Also, look at The Telegraph article here

Not quite done, yet. You may want to tweak the wording a little bit; it sounds like, after reading it, that Gorbachev was the drunk one. As the image in the article shows, include why the media suggested Yanayev was likely drunk when he made the announcement (i.e. his hands were shaking rather violently, as the image shows). –MuZemike 19:11, 15 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I've reworded the sentence and added a bit about his shaking hands. --TIAYN (talk) 19:57, 15 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Conclusions

I'm going to place this on hold for a week pending improvements to the issues listed above. –MuZemike 03:17, 15 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good.

Passed. –MuZemike 20:04, 15 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for passing it! --TIAYN (talk) 20:11, 15 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]