Firstly, just as a note for the future, the GA reviewer generally creates this page... you just need to add the template to the talk page. :)
Ah you're right! Just noticed that when I double checked, I'll remember for next time!
"Singles released by the band and included on the album" - bleh... could you trim this to something like "SINGLE 1 and SINGLE 2 were released as singles"... it's a bit wordy as is.
Done
"was produced by Ian Broudie and by Bill Drummond and David Balfe." - overuse of "and", etc.
Reworded to try to show that Drummond and Balfe produced the album and Broudie produced "Rescue".
"author Chris Adams said that in 1980 Creem magazine had written" - took me a while to work out what was being said here... perhaps "in 1980 Cream magazine wrote..." or another reword?
Reworded. I had originally used that to try to show it was a tertiary source.
"Although Sergeant was less happy and said" - starting a sentence with "although" is weird...
Removed "Although"
"the following year, 1990." - you say 1989 last sentence, so you don't need to say the year here... it's pretty clear.
Fixed
The Commons template isn't really appropriate, and does MTV have permission to post up those lyrics (otherwise copyvio issues)?
Removed commons (legacy of an earlier editor) and yes MTV have a licence for lyrics.
The rest seems good! giggy(:O) 11:52, 13 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
