Talk:Caitlyn Jenner/GA1

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Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 15:48, 4 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hi! It's great to review another work of yours. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 15:48, 4 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Fairly well-written, only a few comments: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 15:10, 5 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Early life
  • When you begin with the main article, you should begin with the full name of the person.
Done. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 01:42, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Olympic career
  • prior to public gender transition. prior to "her"
Done. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 01:42, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Centered around Bert Bonanno, the coach at SJCC...and Al Feuerbach also trained there. Describing all of that may not be as relevant here, could be trimmed to a line.
Bonanno made the environment possible for elite athletes. The other names were a short list of the kind of elite athletes who Jenner trained with, Hampton, Phillips and Wilkins won Olympic Gold Medals, Powell, Wilkins and Feuerbach held the world record in their respective events. Trackinfo (talk) 02:36, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Alright. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:24, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • There may be a bit of overciting at the end of the "Olympic success" section. I think three refs. should be enough.
At the time this was written, every word was literally being critiqued. Over-sourcing was necessary. Trackinfo (talk) 02:22, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
I see. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:24, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • What exactly are the sources for the table?
Table reference is [1] but there is not a convenient place to post the source on the table without having a dangling number.Trackinfo (talk) 02:18, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
May be a line can precede the table, something indicating that this is a table with details of her athletic achievements, and then you put the ref. at the end of the line? Just to ensure that no information is challenged. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:24, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Done. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 22:47, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Including the 2012 emergence of a new world record holder Ashton Eaton, Jenner's mark has moved to #27 worldwide and #10 USA. Source?
 DoneTrackinfo (talk) 02:21, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Post-Olympic career
  • success—basketball, the 100 metre dash, and decathlon—were I think spaced endashes are more proper here?
Done. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 02:00, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • now iconic front What does "now" mean here?
Done. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 02:08, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • I can see some "citation needed" tags.
Done. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 05:19, 7 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Jenner has also made cameo appearances on the show's spin-off series is also unsourced.
Removed unsourced sentence. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 22:42, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Who is Cirotto?
Done. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 02:59, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Decathlon" and "dyslexia" are duplinks
Done. Plus a lot more. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 03:51, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Personal life
  • I think this section creates a break in the article, I think Gender transition should come first so that the biography is completed first.
Done. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 03:21, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Wikilink I am Cait, trans people
Done. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 03:05, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • marriage - Kourtney, Kim, Khloé and Rob - who Spaced endashes?
Done. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 03:08, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Duplink: Keeping Up with the Kardashians
Done. Plus a lot more. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 03:52, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Gender transition
  • In an April 2015, 20/20 interview with Diane Sawyer Reads better as "In a 20/20 interview with Diane Sawyer in April 2015"
Done. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 03:14, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Jenner also received criticism Perhaps add a "however" to denote the contrast, as you have been discussing the positive reactions first?
Done. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 03:30, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Duplinks: Donald Trump, LGBT (second mention), gender dysphoria (second mention), Out (2nd and 3rd mentions), E!, Diane Sawyer (second mention)
Done. Plus a lot more. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 03:49, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Sources

Per this revision [2]

  • Refs. 1, 37 (use Template:Google Books), 44, 49, 57, 84 (same as ref. 37 and remove Google Books as publisher, no accessdate needed),
Note: Did a bunch. Can you double check them now? {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 08:19, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
102, 106 ("US", not "Us"),
Note: Us Weekly is their namestyle, not US Weekly. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 03:27, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Oops, missed that! Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:24, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
152–3, 156, 168, 170, 173–4, 182 need proper formatting
Done. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 08:19, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Refs. 2, 6, 8, 20–2, 27, 32–4, 56, 79, 88–92, 110 (two bits), 111 (two bits), 119 need accessdates
Done. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 05:18, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • I am not sure if Amazon (refs. 54, 63) is a proper source
Barring any other source, it establishes the picture on the cover and the credit on the show Trackinfo (talk) 02:12, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Date for refs. 36, 103, 115–8, 132? There may be many other places, I have not checked all.
Done those. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 06:35, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • ISBN for refs. 37, 84?
Done. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 05:42, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • No ISSN needed for refs. 91, 110
Done. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 03:59, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • I see ref. 19 needs a "subscription needed" tag. I have not checked everyone, though.
Done one. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 05:24, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • At places news agencies are in italics, in others not.
Done a bunch. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 06:38, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Some publishers are given as website names instead of proper names.
Done. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 10:41, 7 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • There are a few deadlinks [3]
Having trouble accessing Checklinks site tonight. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 08:19, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed some manually, and archived some manually. Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 13:05, 7 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks to you both for fixing these plus lots more. I feel this has the potential for an FAC, so make sure the sources are in order. The prose looks FA-standard to me. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:24, 6 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, Sainsf. Done. Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 13:04, 7 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Great job Checkingfax! The references look lots better now, but will require a more thorough check if you plan an FAC. I am glad to promote this. Cheers! Sainsf (talk · contribs) 13:38, 7 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]
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