Talk:Brett Dier

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Fixing this article[edit]

I came to this article by tracing an editor who has been introducing ungrammatical English into Wikipedia articles. Here are some suggestions for improving this article, which I shall not do myself as it risks an emotional response from said editor:

Dier was born on February 14, 1990 in London, Ontario. He studied improv (EXPAND: do you mean improvisational theatre?) as well as receiving his first Dan Black Belt (ERRONEOUS CAPS: this should be "first-dan black belt") in Taekwondo (ERRONEOUS CAP: This should be "taekwondo"). He reached the 6th grade of Conservatory Music (ERRONEOUS CAPS: should be "conservatory music" and possibly "at a conservatory of music") in piano, including the Suzuki method since the age of 4 (UNGRAMMATICAL: This clause appears to be in the wrong place. Do you mean he began attending the conservatory at the age of four?). As a high school student, he was involved with a jazz band. Dier received honors for his work. He also practiced swimming and the guitar. Dier is a self-taught musician (INCONSISTENCY: Earlier it is stated that he went to a music conservatory, and now he is self-taught?). He also dances breakdance (AWKWARD PHRASING: Better to say "He also breakdances").[1]

First off, please refrain from grading my English. I am in an Enriched English class and my grades say that my English is excellent (graded by teachers who have studied in English schools and come from English provinces). I am one of the top in my class, so please stop (please do not bring this up again). I never had the chance to review Dier's Wikipedia page. Some content I wrote was based on the main source, which includes your first and fifth comment (he studied improv and he was a self-taught musician). If you can find more sources that explain his early life, you are more than free to expand it. I cannot expand content if I don't have a source to prove it, WP:CRYSTAL. As for the dancing, I will use an example. Do you dance the salsa/samba/cha-cha-cha/freestyle dance or do you salsa/samba/cha-cha-cha/freestyle dance? Somebody does not salsa. They dance the salsa. Breakdancing is a type of dance, and it shouldn't be a verb itself. Also, next time, please use my talk page to discuss out-of-subject articles. You wrote on the FSoG talk page about this article. It would have been more appropriate to discuss this on my talk page. I will review the article after I slept. Callmemirela (talk) 08:44, 8 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]

External links modified[edit]

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